I am SOOO excited to share this with ya’ll!!! If you remember a while back I posted a blog called “Confessions of a High Strung Woman” which you can read here: http://abbiwalker.tumblr.com/post/72636758823/confessions-of-a-high-strung-woman if you haven’t had a chance…
BUT NOW, my honest, hilarious, amazing mom has written a guest blog for me this week on RAISING a high strung woman!!! Mothers of high strung, independent, headstrong girls everywhere- TAKE HEART!!!! There is such humor and wisdom in my momma’s blog here!!!! Please read below- and share share share!!!
I am the Mother of that High Strung Woman: How We Survived Her Twos….
She is the oldest. And she came into this world fiercely determined to leave her mark on it. Two weeks after we brought her home from the hospital I held her half dazed at 2:55 a.m. as she screamed in my arms. My visiting father walked into our den where I was sitting. “What’s wrong with her?” he shot at me from blurry eyes.
“She’s hungry,” I replied in exasperation.
“Why don’t you feed her?”
“We have 5 minutes to go until it’s been two hours.” This was the minimum time the La Leche League instructor had recommended between nursings.
“*#%@, we’ve got two hard heads,” he murmured as he stumbled back toward the guest bedroom.
I was determined to parent this kid by the book and win a “Best Mom in Show” ribbon to boot. She had another idea.
Here are my take aways from our years of raising each other.
- Accept that the drive, independence and energy in your child is not a temperament to be conquered, but called forth. Many a spanking brought little sign of immediate remorse. Abbi needed space to think over her actions and the consequences and then she would come to conclusion there was a better way to act. It was very important that she be given this room to “govern herself.”
This unique strength will later serve your child well when peers are trying to force her to do things. If you bully her and force her to do what you want, you’ll get compliance. But this starts a precedent of unhealthy living that bears bad fruit. Obedience is the result when a strong minded/feeling child is given room to feel their anger and process their emotions and come to their own conclusion.
- Examine your own motives in parenting. Looking back, I placed much of my self worth on how Abbi behaved—a very frustrating proposition as she had a mind of her own and could be very dramatic in expressing it. Silver glitter maryjanes were purchased in lieu of needed groceries because she would not take them off or stop wailing before we left the shoe store. God forbid, she pierced her nose as a 19 year old. She left Christian Music to pursue a career in, as I like to call it, the Seecuuulaaar music industry. Somewhere between the nose piercing and her new career, I humbly came to terms with my warped motives and surrendered my attempts to control my kids to protect my image.
- Provide boundaries for your child to thrive in. Early one morning 4 year old Abbi appeared at the door of her father’s study. She interrupted his reading trying to clarify their discussion the previous day. “But I’m the boss of my sandbox, right dad?” she stated, having thought this through over the night.
He had been working on teaching her that she needed to honor his authority by explaining that in our home, he was the boss. She was ready to concede his position of boss over the house just as long as she could be the bosssomewhere.
The green Little Tykes sandbox in our backyard became Abbi’s domain from where she began to practice her need to rule. A high strung child needs definite fences that remind them they don’t get to run the universe, but at the same time they need space within the fence where they can be free to express themselves.
- Be a safe haven to come home to. Don’t let the high strung child’s fierce independence fool you. Just because they can march into the first day of kindergarten without ever looking back does not mean they need less support than their clingy siblings. Because they are bent on doing great things, which puts them in the arena of risk more often than others, they actually need more affirmation and affection than the rest. Be intentional in your support of this child’s life long mission to conquer and succeed. Remind them, win, lose or draw, you are proud that they were willing to give it their all.
Today I have traded in my desire to be “Best in Show Mom” for the happy title of Show Mom, proudly sitting in the stands or selling merch for Abbi whenever I can catch her perform. While others see a confident, budding country rock star, I see the spunky three year old, bangs in face, holding up a chef’s wisk as a microphone on a makeshift stage. The road to here was where she was headed all along.
BY: SHIRLEY WALKER
(Wife to Pastor David Walker, Mom to Abbi, Katie, and Evan, Author, Speaker, and Artist).
To get in touch with Shirley you can email her: email@example.com
Welp. I’d call this #instaworthy it’s not every day you see the Oscar Meyer WeinerMobile . Now, let’s keep our comments on the mature level peeps…. Bahaha.
Honored to be nominated for @bigstar97 ‘s music awards for #newfemalevocalistoftheyear !!!! This is the Last week to vote- run on ovah to www.bsma.bigstar97.com and help this big haired lady make the next rounds!!!! :) #sograteful #kisskissbangbang #bigstar97 #countrymusic #countryradio #texascountry #texastilidie
Whohooo!!!! Jumped up to #59 on the #tripleR charts!!! #abbiwalker #kisskissbangbang #texascountry #texascountryradio #grateful #thankyouJesus
Really excited to announce this show- SAN ANTONIO!!! Get ready! I am headlining this fabulous night of music with some other incredible ladies- The Reliques and Curious News! Friday, May 23rd at the 502 Bar!!!! 8 pm!!! So save the date and come on out for a great time! 21 and up, just $12!
Texas bound!!!!! Glory be!!! #kisskissbangbangradiotour #readytobehome
Squinty eyes and all- just wrapped my LAST interview of the #kisskissbangbangradiotour !!!!! Yessss! This guy is greatness! Brandon at KECO here in Elk City, OK is highly entertaining! Y’all listen in!
Last #kisskissbangbangradiotour stop for today was in #Wichita KANSAS with this guy at 100.5 The Wolf - Colby Ericson!!!! The interview will air Friday- I’ll post the link then! For now, y’all go check out and like #35SouthRadio on Facebook - - Texas Country being played all the way up here! Heck yeah!!!! #abbiwalkerontheradio #lifeontheroad
HAd such a great visit with this guy- Steve Niemeyer at #KOTE 93.5 fm in Eureka, Kansas!!! This guy LOVES Texas and Red Dirt music and supports artists in the best ways!!! Come on down to Texas for while Steve! :) #kisskissbangbangradiotour #abbiwalkerontheradio
Yep. Made Jay McCrae from KGFY 105.5 in Stillwater, OK do the sorority-hand-on-the-hip pose !!! Y’all call and request #kisskissbangbang on their station! #kisskissbangbangradiotour #hewasagoodsport